What is declarative language?

Declarative language is a comment or a statement that shares what one knows, observes, or thinks. It emphasizes shared observations, thoughts, and experiences rather than directives or demands. A lot of communication approaches rely heavily on questions (who, what, where, when, why or how) or instructions; declarative language does the opposite. Instead of telling a person exactly what to do or expecting a specific answer, declarative language extends the opportunity for additional communication. It allows us to share an experience while taking the pressure off the individual to respond in a particular way.

While imperative language gives direct commands or ask specific questions (ex. Did you finish your homework yet?), declarative statements actually increase independence by giving the individual the space they need to notice what is happening in their environment, process what has been said to them, and then respond with their own thoughts and ideas. Declarative language has no right or wrong answer – it doesn’t even necessarily require a response. Instead, it invites a person to share in an experience, helps them to pay attention to what may be important, and to observe what is going on around them.

How does declarative language support neurodivergent communicators?

Declarative language shifts interactions from a command-based model toward a more collaborative communication style. Neurodivergent individuals often feel intense pressure when they’re expected to respond to repeated direct questions or commands. Declarative language lessens that pressure by simply sharing observations or thoughts, giving individuals the space to respond naturally. This approach can help reduce anxiety in social situations, making interactions more predictable and reinforcing for the individual. Declarative statements also allow a person to notice things in their environment and then provide the person with an invitation to act while still giving them space to process and make their decision.

Declarative statements can support perspective-taking. They help learners consider other people’s experiences and feelings. By commenting on situations rather than demanding immediate reactions and responses, adults prompt individuals to consider the “why” behind behaviors and events. This encourages the development of deeper social cognition, which is the ability to understand and relate to others.

Because declarative language is collaborative, it removes the pressure to comply, allowing an individual to process information and engage at their own pace. This makes it far more effective for fostering cooperation and reducing resistance and gives them the space to do their own thinking and learn new skills.

What are 10 benefits of using declarative language?

Reminders, instructions, and well-meaning advice can lead to frustration, shutdowns, or outright resistance from neurodivergent individuals. It’s the way information is being presented that is triggering an automatic stress response. Declarative language takes the pressure off to respond in a specific way, invites engagement, and allows time to process information without feeling controlled.

Here are ten benefits of using declarative language:

1. Validates a person’s feelings and experiences. 
2. Provides more information than a command does. 
3. Reduces the sense of demand and pressure. Neurodivergent individuals may exhibit general demand avoidance driven by things like executive functioning challenges, burnout, focused interests, sensory overwhelm, or general overwhelm. Declarative statements feel more like invitations than demands, which lowers the level of pressure they experience. Performance based stress is reduced.
4. Fosters independent thinking and problem-solving. If you phrase statements as observations rather than commands, a person is able to notice what you are noticing and problem-solve on their own rather than simply following your instructions.
5. Allows space for connection rather than conflict. Commands and direct questions can feel confrontational, leading to defensiveness, shutdowns, or meltdowns. Declarative language positions you as the supportive partner. This will build trust and strengthen the relationship.
6. Helps with inner voice development and how to self-advocate through modeling and self-narration. Rather than you saying, “Please stop doing that”, the individual can say, “I’m frustrated. I think I need a break.”
7. Recognizes and supports executive functioning challenges. Many neurodivergent individuals struggle with executive functions such as planning and task initiation. While these skills can be strengthened, they won’t be if the supporting adults do all of the thinking and the tasks. Constant reminders can feel overwhelming and upsetting. Declarative statements cue necessary tasks without nagging or micromanaging.
8. Models scripts that gestalt language processors can understand and use. Ex. Say “Let’s go outside!” rather than “Do you want to go outside?”
9. Provides the opportunity to  discover mistakes without shaming or blaming. Ex. “I think I hear the water running.” instead of “Turn the tap off.”
10. Focuses on teaching rather than asking questions or quizzing. Ex. Instead of saying, “What’s that on your shirt?” you could say, ” Your shirt has Lightning McQueen on it.”

How can we construct effective declarative statements?

These ideas are from Patty Laushman’s article Declarative Language and Autism: for Parents of Emerging Adults. 

1. Observe What’s Happening in the Environment – By simply stating what you notice, the individual becomes more aware of their surroundings without placing a direct demand on them. Over time, this helps build independent thinking and responsibility and helps them tune in to what you are noticing in the environment. This works because the person is prompted to tune in to the environment and think through the action they should take rather than just being told by you what to do and feeling over-reminded or nagged.
2. Model Your Thinking – When you share your own thoughts, it removes pressure from the conversation while encouraging them to engage in problem-solving. This can be especially helpful for tasks related to daily responsibilities. This works because instead of feeling pressured to provide an answer, the person can reflect and respond at their own pace.
3. Use Uncertainty and Possibility to Provide Them Wiggle Room – Direct demands can trigger a stress response that leads to avoidance. Using softening words like “maybe,” “perhaps,” “sometimes,” or “I wonder” provides flexibility and reduces resistance. This works because these statements give a person a sense of autonomy while still planting the idea that action needs to happen.
4. Normalize Not Knowing Everything – Acknowledging that you don’t always have all the answers helps remove the fear of failure or making the wrong choice. This creates a safe space for an individual to express uncertainty and engage in collaborative decision-making. This works because by normalizing uncertainty, a person feels less pressured to have all the answers right away and are more comfortable exploring new experiences.
5. Use Words Related to Your Feelings or Senses – Many neurodivergent individuals struggle with interoception. They may struggle with recognizing their own bodily signals, emotions, or sensory needs. When you express your own experiences or observations, it helps them tune into their own internal state. This works because instead of making them feel criticized or controlled, expressing your own observations/experiences allow them to process the situation without feeling attacked.

Using declarative language shifts communication away from questions, demands or instructions to shared observations, thoughts, and experiences. When pressure is reduced to respond in a certain way, we encourage independent thinking and promote collaboration. This approach strengthens connection by demonstrating that you trust an individual’s ability to think, make decisions, and take responsibility in their own way and at their own pace.

To get started with this approach, pick one or two situations where you usually get a negative response or no response. Rephrase the way you begin a conversation with a declarative statement. Over time, consistent use of declarative language will lead to more cooperation, independence, and a stronger relationship with the person you support.

References

Demchuk, H. (March 28, 2023). Declarative Language: A Happier Alternative to Questions and Directives. The HAEPI Blog

Laushman, P. (December 4, 2025). Declarative Language and Autism: for Parents of Emerging Adults. Thrive Autism Coaching

Robson, D. What is Declarative Language & Why Should You Use It? And Next Comes L

Sippl, A. (September 15, 2025). 5 Classroom and Home Ideas for Declarative Language. Life Skills Advocate