After School Regulation Ideas for Supporting Autistic Children

School is a demanding, busy, stimulating, and noisy place. While in school, the constant demands on the nervous system can leave an autistic child feeling mentally and emotionally drained from everything they’ve had to deal with throughout the day – in other words, dysregulated.

When the nervous system is regulated, the brain and body are more in harmony, in control, and better able to handle things like transitions (25% of the school day), unexpected changes, excitement, frustration, and sensory input.

When the nervous system is dysregulated, the brain and body are less in control and not able to manage emotions or tolerate things like changes in the schedule or unexpected sensory experiences.

It’s important to know that nervous system regulation and dysregulation are cumulative. Think of it as a cup that accumulates different sensory and emotional experiences throughout the day, filling up that cup. By the end of the day, the cup is full or overflowing which is why you see more dysregulated behavior at the end of the school day.

Co-regulation, the precursor to self-regulation, involves using calming techniques such as a soothing voice, facial expressions, and for some children gentle physical contact. This can help children manage their emotions before they can do so independently.

Adults may have to act as the external nervous systems for autistic children who are experiencing stress and anxiety. When adults co-regulate with individuals, they can demonstrate that they are safe and also that the adults are safe people to go to when stressed. When dysregulated people are met with support and empathy, they will be able to better regulate themselves over time; thus, co-regulation is the bridge to self-regulation.

While every child is different because of the way their nervous system responds to sensory input and regulation strategies, there are a few common strategies you can try to see if they work for a child to help them relax after school.

Creating a Supportive After-School Environment

Creating a supportive environment will give a child the tools and space they need to regulate and deal with big emotions and feelings.

1. Offer a calm, sensory-friendly space. Have a designated area where a child can retreat to after school. This space should be designed to support their sensory preferences such as soft lighting, cozy seating, a blanket, stuffed animals, and maybe gentle music. Provide sensory tools like noise cancelling headphones, fidgets, chewelry, and other calming items. My son likes to color in his sensory-friendly space and meditate to classical music.
2. Establish a consistent, predictable routine. This could include time for relaxation, snacks, and quiet activities. Predictability reduces anxiety and provides a sense of security. It supports the need for sameness. This routine can be a gradual transition into other activities.
3. Be present. While it’s important to give a child space to unwind, they still need to feel safe in order to let go and wind down. A caregiver’s presence and availability can provide the emotional support children need during this transition time.
4. Lower demands. This may include not talking or asking questions like, “How was your day?” or “What did you do at school?” Keep expectations minimal after school such as doing chores or homework right away.
5. Provide choices and a sense of control. Let a child choose what they want to do. Offer ideas for simple activities such as reading, coloring, playing with play dough, water play or going for a walk.

Supporting Emotional Regulation

Because the school day can be overwhelming, autistic children may struggle with managing their emotions. Learning to regulate emotions takes time and practice. OT Kelly Mahler’s work with interoceptive awareness can help a child tune in and identify the emotions they are feeling. One tool that can help a child build body awareness and how they are feeling is the body check chart. Here are some great body awareness activities used in relation to the body check chart from Raising an Extraordinary Person:

1. Point to different body parts on your child’s chart and have them wiggle that body part on their actual body. This shows you that your child understands their chart and how it is connected to their body.
2. Play a game of Simon Says using the chart. Use actions like clench your fists, breath really hard, touch your heart, etc. Ask them to point to the body parts on the chart they used for each action.
3. Turn their chart into a self-portrait, getting them to draw all of their body parts on their chart so it’s not just an outline. If they can spell, they may label the parts as well, if not pictures are fine.
4. Point to a body part on their body check chart and ask them how it feels right now. For example, eyes: they could be itchy, sleepy, awake, dry, watery, etc.

Artistic expression can be a valuable outlet for some children to process emotions. Provide materials for drawing, painting, or sculpting with Play-Doh, as these activities can help children express feelings they might struggle to put into words. My daughter found it easier to express her emotions speaking through puppets, plush toys and Playmobil characters.

Transitioning and Executive Function Skills

Transitioning from home to school can be difficult due to executive function difficulties. Executive functions encompass planning, organizing, initiating tasks, and time management. We can help with this transition by:

• having a spot at home for important school items like outdoor shoes, backpacks, and lunch kits. When items have a home, it becomes easier to build the habit of putting the item in the right place.
• posting a visual schedule of the after-school routine. For example – snack time, playtime, homework, then dinner. Knowing the schedule will lessen anxiety.
• providing a visual structure for time. During school, a bell provides the time changes. At home, these time changes between activities or the length of an activity can be visually demonstrated by using a Time Timer, sand timer, iPhone timer, or liquid timer. My son uses his digital travel alarm clock to provide his structure for snack, DVD watching, then reading aloud.

Providing the right support and environment for autistic children after a demanding school day can help the ease the transition to home and calm the nervous system. Over time and as children mature, they will know what works best for them to make them feel comfortable and regulated. After-school regulation strategies not only support immediate needs, but also lay the foundation for lifelong well-being. Both of my children were able to take the routines and structure that we developed when they were attending school into adulthood. They can now make their own choices about what things work best for them.

References

Fisher, I. (June 28, 2025). How to Help Your Autistic Child Relax After School. Autism  Parenting Magazine

(January 31, 2025). After-School Regulation – Nurturing Co-Regulation and Building Self-Regulation Skills. Connect Specialist Therapy

(July 29, 2024). How to Help Your Child Regulate After School. Everyday OT

(June 3, 2025). 6 After School Regulation Strategies. Sensory Direct

Petix, L. After-school regulation ideas for neurodivergent kids. The OT Butterfly