Making Christmas Merry and Bright for Individuals with ASD - Autism Awareness
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How to make Christmas and the hollidays happy for those with ASD autism

Making Christmas Merry and Bright for Individuals with ASD

The Christmas holidays can be a time of wonder and delight, taking part in family traditions, seeing loved ones, and a break from routines. The holidays can also be a time of stress for those on the autism spectrum who thrive on familiarity and predictability. This can be a difficult time of year, but with some preparation and planning, the holiday season can be enjoyable.

Managing the Holidays At School For People With ASD

The school schedule may be interrupted with plays, concerts and assemblies. Teachers and educational assistants – give lots of warning about changes in the daily routine. Work in special activities into the visual schedule. Create a social story about a concert or a play the children will see. It is often anxiety rooted in fear of the unknown that causes challenging behavior and avoidance of new experiences.

Allow for some quiet or down time during a day that has new experiences in it. Create a plan B if the school play is too hard for the child to sit through. If a music concert will be loud, perhaps use some noise cancelling headphones to lessen the sound. If the class is planning a Christmas party, walk the child through what it will be like. Maybe the child can also help with the organization or suggest a favourite game to play. If a preferred activity is included in the day’s events, the child is more likely to be enthusiastic about it. Think about scheduling a favourite activity right after a new experience so that the child knows when the concert ends, there is some computer time, games, or play time with a much loved toy.

Be careful about introducing new foods or ones that aren’t usually consumed. Some children have food sensitivities and can’t tolerate traditional Christmas foods like shortbread, chocolate and other delights. They may be interested in trying them, but check with the parents first to see if they can handle certain foods. The joy in the moment is never worth the aftermath of an upset stomach or GI system later.

Keep The Surprises To A Minimum At Home

Some children on the spectrum don’t enjoy surprises. If this is the case, don’t give a wrapped gift or if you do, put a picture of what’s inside the box on the outside of it. Predictability is key to keeping children calm.

For families, limit the amount of visitors to the house. Large groups of guests can be challenging for the person on the spectrum to deal with; so can an invasion of their space. Request that people not drop by without giving notice. This is a rule in our house that we insist people follow. Limit the length of a visit to something manageable. Every family will differ.

If opening presents all in one day is too overwhelming, spread it out over several days. When our children were young, they took 7 days to open all of their gifts. It made Christmas last a long time because the kids felt they were seeing something new each day and they really explored that new item. Our son struggles with opening presents due to poor fine motor skills so we put his things in gift bags with tissue paper. He then has independence with opening gifts. Clear up boxes and wrapping paper as you go to keep the chaos to a minimum. Our kids need a lot of alone time after opening gifts because they like to explore them at their own pace. We give them that space.

Break With Tradition If It Means Happier Children

This can be a hard thing to do, but keep your child’s best interests at heart. My parents wanted us to come over on Christmas Eve and all day on Christmas because that’s what we did before we had kids. They also expected us to to bring the children to Christmas Eve mass which was about 2 hours long. This was just too much much so we opted for a lunch and gift opening on Christmas Eve and just a dinner on Christmas Day.

Create your own holiday traditions that are meaningful to your child. Find ways in which they can contribute to holiday activities. Maybe they like to put sprinkles on cookies, stamps on Christmas card envelopes, hang decorations, make cards by hand, or create e-cards on the internet. Every year, my daughter and I sponsor a cat at a local cat charity. Together, we try to find out which cat needs the most support.

Minimize Outings And Follow Normal Routines As Much As Possible

Stick with one outing a day. Try to choose times that are less busy to do things. Mornings tend to be quieter on the roads. Matinee movies or shows are not as busy as an early evening show. Buy tickets ahead of time to avoid line-ups.

Try to follow normal mealtimes and bedtime. Getting enough sleep is important as are regular meals with preferred foods. If visiting someone, bring snacks in case your child doesn’t like what is being served or can’t tolerate it due to sensitivities.

Create a safe zone for down time. Have a quiet place for children to go both in their own home and in other homes. Ask your host ahead of time if there is an area your child can go to if they need some down time away from the group. Let people know your child’s limits and ask that they respect that. Sometimes a simple accommodation like lowering the volume of background music can make a huge difference.

Holiday Travelling For Those With Autism

Whether travelling by car or plane, creating predictability and being prepared is the key to reducing anxiety.

  1. Pack well ahead of time to make sure things are not forgotten. If possible, have your child put a few things on their checklist to let them feel that they have a choice in what items get to come with them. Bring a few things that anchor them.
  2. Draw up a travel plan and timeline. What time will you leave the house? Will there be a break in the journey for meals or to change planes? What time will you arrive at your destination?
  3. Plot your journey on a map. As you pass through certain towns or landmarks they can be checked off.
  4. Pull photos off of the internet and use them to create a social story of where you’ll be staying and what you’ll be doing there. Hotel websites will list their amenities; these can be incorporated into a schedule of the stay. Ex: Pool times, breakfast, on-site activities
  5. If not staying in a hotel, try to get photos and information of where you will be staying (relative’s house, cabin) Use this information in a social story to lessen anxiety. Look at pictures of the family and friends they’ll be seeing.
  6. Book a place that has cooking facilities in order to keep food/meals the same. If a child is following a special diet, eating in a restaurant can be difficult. We also bring many of our own GF/CF products because small town grocery stores often don’t carry these items.
  7. Plan activities ahead of time and share the information while still at home. Again, the internet is a great tool as most attractions will have a website, allowing for pre-planning and creating familiarity.
  8. Suggest doing something that takes in a special interest. Marc loves to sing and listen to Christmas songs so attending a sing-a-long or a church concert makes him very happy.
  9. When visiting family, keep visits short in duration and expectations reasonable.
  10. Have a look at the website Autistic Globetrotting for additional travel tips, reviews, and destination information.

Every family has its own rhythm and pace. Do what works for your child – think about maintaining predictability through routines and familiar toys, places, and people. Merry Christmas to everyone across the globe!

 

 

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  1. Lynn Brodsky says:

    Fantastic post Maureen. Thank you so much for this–you really have considered everything. I particularly like “Do what works best for your child”. That says it all. Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah

    • Thanks Lynn! My kids never understood the concept of Santa Claus either so many of Julia’s presents come from the cats she supports volunteering at a cat charity. She thinks they really picked out the gifts for her and have remembered her. It’s so magical! You have to do what works, even if it doesn’t fit with what the rest of the world is doing. Merry Christmas and all the best of the holiday season to your and your family, Lynn. Thank you for taking the time to write.

  2. Lisa palasti says:

    This is a very well thought out list of strategies and tips  for the holiday season – some ideas outside if the box if you will such as not wrapping the gifts or showing what the item is with a picture on outside of box.  My clients occasionally do this with kids who get too anxious about their gifts.  That anxiety takes the fun out of it.  So why force the surprise.  

    • Thank you for your kind words, Lisa. I have spent many years with my two children who are now 20 and 22 having to leave expectations behind and do what works best for them. When they were youngest, they also didn’t have the fine motor skills to even tear paper off of a present. They would get very frustrated. My daughter watches me place online orders for her gifts. She is still surprised to get them even though she picked everything out and watched me place the orders. She is just excited thinking about what’s coming next week.

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